Mother's Day is almost upon us, and this year, I've made a wish list.
The end.
Nah, there's more.
I may have grown(ish) up kids who don't wake me up at dawn or watch me pee, but there's always more.
Listen, I love my kids fiercely; I love their hugs and homemade cards and spending some good QT with them, that should go without saying, but I've never understood the concept or purpose of Mother's Day. I mean, if the day is really supposed to be about pampering moi, then why can't I just be left alone for a few hours of peace and quiet while everyone else maybe does what I ask them to do the other 364 days a year? Is it really too much to ask? Forget the lotion from Bath & Body Works or the new bird feeder or even the breakfast in bed of soggy toast and overcooked bacon, what I really want is...
1. To go a whole day without someone telling me they need something bought/washed/made by tomorrow.
2. For everyone to pick up their crap without me gritching at them.
3. A mimosa for breakfast.
4. Followed by a nap.
5. For someone else to decide what to make for dinner, get the groceries and make it.
6. An hour long back rub with no strings attached.
7. For the cats to stop shitting so I never have to scoop the catbox again.
8. For the laundry baskets to all be empty, and not because all the dirty laundry is in foot high piles on bedroom floors.
9. For these words to come out of someone's mouth, "Oh, I see the toilet needs scrubbing and the bathroom trashcan is full. Let me take care of that."
10.. Or these, "I've planned a whole day of fun! You, on the other hand, are going to the spa, ma'lady."
11. For everyone to pick up their crap without me gritching at them.
12. A trip to Target where the only thing on the list is "something unnecessary for yourself".
13. Dry towels.
14. For the cats to not try to drink my cereal, watch me eat, walk on my keyboard or demand to be fed.
15. For everyone else to clean up the messes they made.
16. For someone to offer cleaning up something other than the messes they made. For once.
17. Pie.
18. A day where I don't find one sock in 13 different places (and I do mean one) or 47 hair bands littering the floor.
19. To be the recipient of the nightly back-scratches and hair-stroking.
20. For everyone to pick up their crap without me gritching at them.
Really, I'll take two or three things from this list and be happy (as long as one of them is #17).
What would be on your dream list?
Clicking here will save three baby seals -- and their mama -- from getting slaughtered.
I'd take 1, 3, 7, 8, 14,15, 18, 19, & 20! As far as 7 goes I'd be happy if my daughter would do it! After kitty number two she promised to scoop morning and night... Why did I fall for it?!? We're now at 3 cats and she hasn't done it in a year =/
ReplyDeleteYou might as well just ask for the whole list! ;) We also have 3 cats and luckily the gigantic catbox is hidden in the unfinished part of the basement (they have a cat door in the wall). The good part of that is you never see it or smell it, the bad part is that you never see it so it's easy to sometimes go awhile without thinking about it. :s Happy Mother's Day!
DeleteThat sounds about like my list, just being able to have a day where I can relax and not be cleaning at all, and yet the house somehow (magic?) gets cleaner rather than dirtier.
ReplyDeleteOh, we can dream, can't we?!
Delete:) Happy Mother's Day!
pie. nap. mimosa. nap. margarita. and then going to the bathroom alone and having someone feed the dog and the guinea pigs. BLISS!!!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if there's such a thing as a Mimosa pie??? Checking Pinterest stat.
DeleteI'm totally jealous you have a guinea pig. I'm obsessed.
Happy Mother's Day!
I would love to have one full day where nobody (including the hubs) whined/griped about anything. Oh, and foot rubs, lots and lots of foot rubs. :-)
ReplyDeleteOohh! Yes! Foot rubs! I never get foot rubs. And I have nice feet, dammit.
DeleteHappy Mother's Day!
1. To go a whole day without someone telling me they need something bought/washed/made by tomorrow.
ReplyDelete2. For everyone to pick up their crap without me gritching at them.
3. A mimosa for breakfast.
4. Followed by a nap.
5. For someone else to decide what to make for dinner, get the groceries and make it.
6. An hour long back rub with no strings attached.
Amen Sister.
Oh, and I forgot to include the Pie. A la Mode, please.
DeleteYou can have my ice cream, if I can have your mimosa.
DeleteNo deal. But I will buy you your own mimosa.
DeleteI'd be happy to have just ONE of the things on your list....
ReplyDeleteFine, just not my pie.
DeleteI want someone else (I'm looking at you, my loving husband) to cook dinner. And it doesn't need to be anything fancy. A salad or a bowl of cereal would suit me fine. Hell, I'd settle for sushi take-out. All I ask is that the offer be made without any prompting from me.
ReplyDeleteIs that too much to ask???
You are hysterical, by the way!
Coming from you, my friend, that is a huge compliment! Thank You!!
DeleteAnd yeah, just to have someone say, "THIS is your dinner tonight" for once would be nice. I wouldn't even argue.
I will take everything on the list, plus cake. And for God's sake, you need to add everyone picking up their crap without me gritching at them about 24 more times. GREAT list.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I'm going to NC for a girls weekend for Mother's Day weekend. I timed that perfectly and didn't even REALIZE it was Mother's Day until after the plans were made. Mother of the Year, here I come!
You. Suck.
DeleteI'll be doing outside work at the lake and then having to pack/clean up and make the road trip home with all 10,000 others who went up north for the weekend, then unload and unpack the car once home.
Can I come with you??
Crap picked up, naps (yes, plural) and no dishes. If my husband wanted to take the kids out for a few hours, I wouldn't be mad.
ReplyDeleteIn reality, I'll probably be working.
Today I asked my husband what he was planning to make me to eat on Mother's day and he replied, "We'll be driving home from the cabin, so most likely Subway." I said, "Okay, fine. But what about breakfast? Lunch?" He said, "Huh. I'll think of something," which after 20 years I know is code for pb&j.
Delete