Monday, April 22, 2013

Hot Hollywood Hell - Reese and Ryan crash and burn.

If you're a loyal reader, you know how I love celebrity gossip and that I start my day not with a check of the national news but of People.com and Eonline.com  - among others. 
If you're new, you now know the depth of my intelligence. 
Occasionally I like to spotlight supreme celebrity disasters in a segment I call Hot Hollywood Hell
Wanna catch up? Here's a few of my favorites - 
Miley, Madonna and Jessica (see a pattern?)

Yesterday I spent an hour or so writing a totally different post for today about toy hoarding (stay tuned) but in the span of 30 short minutes last night my plans for today's post took a totally different turn. And unlike Mr. Reese Witherspoon, I wasn't even drunk. 



Reese gets arrested -

credit: gossip.com

You guys, I'm just sick about this. 
Here's the thing. 
Contrary to popular belief, I'm not perfect. (That was a joke...I totally am. Nah, still a joke. Nevermind.)
I preach to my kids about how it's okay to make mistakes and how the real value is in the lesson, not in the mistake. We tell them making mistakes is okay, just don't make them life changing ones. 
It's no secret I have celebrities I detest (Xtina...cough...) and that I adore (Jennifer Garner....call me, girlfriend) but I've gotta tell you, this news about Reese Witherspoon has brought me down.
Is it because America's darling comedic actress and seemingly perfect girl-next-door made a mistake? 
Nope. Not at all. 
It's the mistake she made
Listen, everyone makes bad judgment calls and I'm not saying I haven't  made a few of my own, but drinking and driving is the one mistake I cannot - and will not - ever have compassion or understanding for. 
Period.
Maybe it's because I have a teenage daughter who is often times out on the road after dark; Maybe it is because I often see groups of people boozing it up at restaurants and know that they'll have to make their way home on the same roads as my 17 year old daughter and thousands of other people's 17 year old daughters (and sons); Maybe it is because I've seen many friends over the years leave parties and dinners and other functions after one (or three) too many cocktails. Whatever one of the many reasons, driving while intoxicated is something I have zero tolerance for. 
Do I like to have a cocktail or two when I'm out? Absolutely. 
Do I have a cocktail or two if I have to drive home? Only one.
I know my .08 limit (sadly, one glass of wine) and when I'm out and am the driver, I stick to it. 
Before some of you chastise me for overreacting, I realize she wasn't driving. But c'mon. Her husband blew a .139. That's enough over the limit to know better. For both of them. 
I'm not trying to sound like Little Miss Goody Two Shoes here (although if history is telling, I guess I am), but I'm just disappointed that Reese and Mr. Reese were so idiotic. 
I guess leaving the Ford Fusion at the bar and getting a taxi or a limo would've just simply cost too much.  
Sorry, Reese. I could've forgiven (and probably laughed at) a bar fight, petty theft, destruction of property, or for sure your disrespectful (and pretty hilarious) rant to the cop, but you crossed the line when you chose to do something that could so easily and stupidly harm others.


What Would Ryan Lochte Do?


He's such an idiot, he wouldn't know. 


Seriously, you guys. My mind was as numb after watching that show as his is 24/7. 
Need proof? 
He can't answer this question, "How many medals do you have?"


He doesn't know what the word "douchebag" means.


In response to this question by his equally brain-cell challenged date, "What are Wontons?" he replied, "I don't know...something crisp with flakes."


Two sentences that came straight out of his mouth -
"I see my older sisters and they have families of their owns..."
"Well, one of my favorite (movies) is What Woman Want."



Is it the most pointless and self serving reality show ever and does it solidify America's opinion of him as an idiot and a doucebag?
To use one of his favorite (stupid) catch phrases (that he apparently had trademarked)...



I told you yesterday I'd take one for the team, but as much as I love you all -- never. again.


I think next Sunday night I'll organize my socks and alphabetize my canned goods. Either of those things will use far more brain cells that Lochte has and might make up for the fact that I lost about a million last night. 





What do you think about Reese's arrest? Did you also kill your brain watching Lochte? Let me know!



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16 comments:

  1. What a sad and disappointing Sunday night...

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    1. It's okay. I had a couple glasses of wine and chinese food. I found a way to survive.

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  2. I am going to pretend that I didn't hear this news about Reese....HOW COULD SHE?

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    1. I know. Supremely disappointing. I get that she's human and all, but this was a Ryan Lochte grade mistake.

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  3. I can't even bring myself to watch Lochte. I am afraid it will become a train wreck I can't tear myself away from!

    As for Reese, I'm shaking my head in disappointment.

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    1. I can safely say that you could tear yourself away from it. He's not that cute once he opens his mouth.

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  4. I totally agree. Reese should have kept her mouth shut instead of talking back and they both should have just waited it out or called a cab.

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    1. Amen. It's common sense and is the responsible thing to do, for yourself and for the hundreds of people you might hurt or kill. I'd have thought she was a lot smarter than that.

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  5. Yes! YES YES!! To Reese and Mr. Reese. ANYTHING else I could have shaken off, but this sickens me. If all of us poor people can figure out designated drivers or pay to take a cab home, then certainly they could. Have a freaking car and driver JUST for these situations, you can AFFORD IT!! And she has preteen children and a BABY!! Puke.

    I refuse to watch WWRLD because it will ruin him for me. More than any other time he's opened his mouth. Not to be rude, but just look pretty and swim, ok Ryan?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You're right - I totally meant to mention the fact that she HAS CHILDREN to be setting an example for, not to mention staying alive for.
      Yeah, stick with looking at still shots of Ryan Lochte. Seriously, when he opens his mouth he might as well look like Andy Dick.

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  6. I'll call a cab even when I don't have the money, so I can't understand people who won't call one when they do. It's a disgrace.

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    1. I don't either. It is something that makes my blood boil. And the thing is, most people don't know what their .08 limit is. It's eye opening when you find out. I always feel just fine after one glass of wine, but we have a mini-breathalizer (a GREAT gift, btw) and apparently, that's my limit. A cab ride is a lot cheaper than a DUI or I don't know - KILLING someone. Glad to hear you're one of the smart ones!

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  7. Ryan Lochte is like a male Paris Hilton only without the fab fashion sense. As for Reese, I am pleased to see that she has appologized and admitted that her own behavior was unacceptable.

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    1. You just nailed it! Yes! He totally is!
      Yeah, she must be extremely embarrassed today...and in a few days when it's the cover story on all the print magazines. Wonder what she told her daughter?

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  8. If I had cable, I probably would have watched that trainwreck because sometimes, ya know, stupid people like Ryan make you feel good about yourself. :)

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    1. Excellent point! You should have your students watch clips - no lie he has less intelligence than a middle schooler. They'd roll.

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I love your comments. They let me know I'm talking to someone besides my cats during the day. Check back ~ I'll reply if I'm not too busy napping.