In honor of spring and summer travel season, I'm starting it out with airplane related grievances, directed primarily at the idiots who violate basic airplane etiquette.
It's no secret that flying isn't my favorite (read THIS post to catch up), but here's a few things that always make it worse.
It's no secret that flying isn't my favorite (read THIS post to catch up), but here's a few things that always make it worse.
•People who read &/or watch what I'm doing on my laptop over my shoulder or through the cracks in the seat.
•Mystery farts.
•People who bring stinky food on the plane.
•When the person in front of you reclines his seat as far back as it will go.
•The smell of the first class food cooking.
•When the person in front of you reclines his seat as far back as it will go.
•Getting trapped by the beverage cart - either when you need to go potty and it is between you and the bathroom, or when you come out and it is between you and your seat.
•Lap child who stares over the seat at you for an hour.
•Lap child sitting behind you who keeps poking things through the seat crack &/or kicking the back of your seat.
•Lap child sitting next to you who keeps hitting you in the shoulder with his sucker.
•Lap children.
•Lap child sitting behind you who keeps poking things through the seat crack &/or kicking the back of your seat.
•Lap child sitting next to you who keeps hitting you in the shoulder with his sucker.
•Lap children.
•People who hit you and every other person sitting on the aisle with their carry on bag as they walk by you while boarding.
•Turbulence with no friendly warning from the pilot.
•Loud talkers who sit next to you (why are you looking at me, Husband?).
•Flight attendants who are pissy.
•Sticky trays.
•Flight attendants who are pissy.
•Sticky trays.
•When you're sitting on the aisle and have food, drink and laptop on your tray and the person sitting next to you needs to get out so you try to juggle your food, drink and laptop but then cannot put up your tray (not to mention stand up) so you sit there stupidly looking for somewhere to put your food, drink and laptop and end up putting it on the person's tray across the aisle from you (who may or may not be named "Husband").
•Flight attendants hitting you with the garbage bag as they walk by - over and over.
•People who reach over you to grab their 30 lb. carry on from the overhead which comes thisclose to knocking you unconscious as they pull it down.
•People not doing the polite "every other person" merge and storming the exit (or trying to) when it's time to deplane.
•Flight attendants hitting you with the garbage bag as they walk by - over and over.
•People who reach over you to grab their 30 lb. carry on from the overhead which comes thisclose to knocking you unconscious as they pull it down.
•People not doing the polite "every other person" merge and storming the exit (or trying to) when it's time to deplane.
I know I've missed a bunch, so sound off below! What drives YOU crazy when you're flying?
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I'd say you covered that pretty thoroughly. Can I complain about the size of airplanes? I don't even have that big of a carryon - just a backpack - and I usually wind up thwacking someone in the head or leg. And I really hate when people don't observe the "next one in line" etiquette for deplaning. sigh....
ReplyDeleteAgree. I always have to hold my backpack in front of me as I maneuver my way down the aisle.
DeleteYes! Yes! Yes!
ReplyDelete<3 Kimbra
www.mommysrambles.blogspot.com
My biggest airplane peeve? People who put their carry-on in front of the plane when they actually sit in the back. It's so they can grab it and leave and then you have the attendant stowing your bag some other place that you have to go back and look for because all of these selfish buttheads put theirs in front bulkhead. I hate those people.
ReplyDeleteOh, that is a really good one. I HATE that. Makes me furious.
DeleteOh god I hate flying. I wrote a post about that last week. LOL
ReplyDeleteThe overhead bins seem to be getting smaller. Or it's the fact that people are bringing wheelies on the plane that I could put both of my kids in. All to avoid checking the bag and having to pay fees.
And yeah, those people that decide to put their luggage over MY seat when they are 15 rows back. It's rude and I have issues.
To avoid ever being arrested for going psycho in an airport, we stopped flying.
(It's safer for all involved. My poor husband was getting too worried about my mental state.)
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ReplyDeleteHow about those people who insist on talking LOUDLY on their cell phones during the entire boarding process until the last possible moment and then start yacking again LOUDLY the moment the plane has landed? I don't care if cell phones don't interrupt the airplanes navigation, I will go apeshit if people are ever allowed to use cell phones during a flight! Sometimes you hear people discussing things that the other person assumes are private, yet 100+ people have no choice but to overhear it. Ugh. Rude. Oh, and by the way, I LOVE my phone and use it constantly, but not on a plane unless it's an emergency.
ReplyDeleteHow about when you take a redeye flight home from Vegas and you are JUST about to fall asleep when suddenly the drunk partying guy behind you begins to violently blow chunks. For an hour and a half. Straight. Without a break.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's always fun.
OMG, I'm DYING. This is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteMy worst were:
1. The guy who broke up with his girlfriend and then spent a full SEVEN HOUR FLIGHT crying on my shoulder about it.
2. The guy who tried to convince me to join the mile-high club with him, despite the fact that I had a heavy cold and couldn't hear half of what he was saying.
3. The guy who, when I had 3 full seats to myself on a 14+ hour flight, tapped me on the shoulder and asked if he could come and have dinner with me. SERIOUSLY?!
I also hate the mystery farts. Although, now that I've endured childbirth, I have a feeling a lot of them might be coming from me. :(
DANI!! I'm rolling. But you must be one sex-ay lady to get hit on all the time. My pet peeve is seeing all the other girls get offered the mile-high club while they all totally pass me over...haha!
DeleteI read through the whole post going YES YES YES, OMG YES! (Wait, that sounds wrong...)
ReplyDeleteWhen people start to read over my shoulder I start to write about them. It's actually really funny to see them realize what's going on.
My two least favorite fellow passengers I've ever had were the french guy on the way to Ireland who turned his CDplayer (it was 2001) all the way up and hung the headphones on the tray-table hook so everybody around him had to hear it. Luckily he was also an over-the-shoulder reader, so I got to tell him exactly what I thought of that and he eventually stopped.
The other was a lady who was doing and re-doing her nail polish for like an hour on a flight to Japan. She didn't speak english though and my Japanese didn't cover "stop with the noxious fumes already" so I actually called over a flight attendant because the smell was making me sick to my stomach.
You took care of mine. It's the recliny-seat thing. UGH. Oh, and I have one to add: the curtain between first class and coach. As if we're the dregs of society that need to be curtained off so they don't have to see us. (I'd love that damned curtain if I could ever make it to first class. Haha)
ReplyDeleteI have two terrible flight experiences. USING THE BATHROOM BEFORE THE PLANE TAKES OFF- there is a reason the plan needs to run before the bathroom is considered usable. Not to mention the fact that you took your coffee and the paper in the bathroom, which happens to be next to my seat. Again people, wait till the plane takes off- prior to that all the vents and such don't work properly. Also, if you had time to get a coffee and a paper YOU HAD TIME TO GO BEFORE BEING 4 FT AWAY FROM ME.
ReplyDeleteOn the issue of flight attendants- if my bag doesn't fit- just take it, please. We all know at the point where I am border it is coming with me one way or another- just gate check it. I once had a flight attendant that suggest I remove things from my carry on in order to make it fit. I was on my first business trip and had hastily passed my bag in order to make the flight after my last meeting. I seriously wanted to look to her and say "Do you suggest I unzip it in the isle and remove each item or how is this going to work?" I would have loved to hear her response..again I know I pissed you off with my big plane but the time has gone for problem solving- if it doesn't fit to your liking just take it!!!!!
DRUNK Passengers... I once got stuck next to the drunkest old man on United Airlines. I helped the flight attendants poor his little mini bottles of Jim Bean as he would throw a fit for their inability to mix his drinks properly if he did not (this was on the second leg of my flight after Mr. Stinky sat next to me, so I was OVER it). I hoped he would pass out, notice me trying to read..but NO..heard his entire life story. I was approached by several passengers at the airport and told they couldn't believe "my graciousness" or "calmness" I wanted to hand out business cards and ask for a job, I would have deserved it.
AND THE FUNNY THING IS
I always wanted to be a flight attendant before going to grad school- thought it would be fun for a few years. I have too many speeding tickets- yes you have heard that right- speeding tickets. Oh. Well.
LOL