Hot Hollywood Hell - It's Time.

You guys, I've held it in for as long as I can.

But I just can't do it anymore. 

It's time for me to go here.

Be honest, you've been wondering how I've restrained myself for this long, haven't you?  

I think it's because it just seemed so unbelievable that such a cute and talented little girl could so quickly go that bat shit bananas.

Oh, wait. 

Seriously, Amanda Bynes' antics are getting ridiculous...and more than a little terrifying. 

Plus, she's making LiLo look kind of white-bread and non-threatning, and that's a pretty scary feather to have in your cap. 

What the hell happened to this girl? 

Thing 1 used to looove this show in the early 00's. 

And I'll admit, I loved to watch it with her.

It was like SNL for the elementary school set. 

In fact, Amanda Bynes was funnier and a better character actress at age 13 than just about any cast member SNL has seen in the past 10 years or so.

Sigh. 

I guess even porn stars were cute little kids once too (probably).

She even made some decent - and adorable - movies: 

Adorable in England! 

She's The Man -- Adorable posing as a dude with a tampon in her nose!

Hairspray -- Adorkable!

Easy A -- Adorably bitchy!
(Ahhh! Maybe this is where it all started going to hell in a hand basket)

Then she started what I can only imagine was a drug induced/parent induced/hollywood-pressure induced/fame induced spiral into the abyss that boasts alumni like Britney and Lindsay and Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson, just to name a few.

Drew Brown TV - YouTube

And it's getting sadder and scarier and more tragic by the day.

Seriously, this post may be full of snark, but it's only fun and games until somebody gets their eye poked out.
And by "eye poked out" I mean OD. 

So for those of you who've been living under a rock for the past year (i.e., actually spend your days reading productive and intellectual things like, oh, I don't know...the news and stuff) let me catch you up.

Between March 2012 and August 2012 Amanda chalked up over six traffic violations, including (but not limited to) fender benders, sideswiping police cars, two or three hit & runs, and multiple DUIs. 

Not surprisingly, she got her license revoked.

Not surprisingly, she didn't care.

Not surprisingly, her car got impounded after she was caught.

Not surprisingly, she was a no-show at her court hearings.

She was probably too busy getting all that necessary plastic surgery to get rid of that ungodly "webbing" between her eyes.

And getting her cheek pierced and shopping for Gangsta Air Force Slut attire of course. 

And channeling her inner-Britney by shaving her head and taking pretty twitpics of her boobs herself.

Recently she's been going all sixth grade freak-out on various people on Twitter who've been pissing her off by doing the unthinkable and Tweeting messages of concern for her.

Here's what she had to say to model Chrissy Teigen -

"Chrissy Teigen, you're not a pretty model compared to me. I signed to Ford models at age 13. I don't look up to you beauty wise. I'm far prettier than you! I'm offended that you're saying I have a mental illness when I show no sign of it, but thankfully not one man that wants me wants you and you are an old ugly model compared to me! You look 45! You're not pretty so I'm not intimidated by you! I think you're jealous that you're just an ugly model who's career is uninspiring! I don't respect you! You're no beauty queen! I'm a beauty queen!" - UsMagazine.com

I mean, isn't it obvious?

A couple of weeks ago she told Rihanna that "...Chris Brown beat you because you're not pretty enough..." 

and then went on to say that "...I met ur ugly face in person! You aren't pretty u know it!" 

which she later claimed she'd never written -- 

"I'm followed by so many people that someone is always mocking up fake tweets so I feel the need to address them! Rihanna and I met and I'm sure we'll be in a music video together one day!"

-- because apparently she's going to become a rapper and is, obviously, a "model citizen." 

"My lawyer knows I'm a model citizen who doesn't partake in drugs. He's going to court this week to set the record straight again on my behalf. Thankfully I'm an educated multi-millionaire who knows better than to speak to . . . cops without my lawyer." - UsMagazine.com

Riiiight. Because "educated multi-millionaires" are so intelligent when it comes to speaking to the cops.

Listen, of course I'm concerned about this poor girl's well being and it should go without saying that I hope someone steps in to intervene,

but if you're gonna live your life out loud -- at maximum volume -- you're gonna get some criticism.

It's the exact attention she wants.

I just hope it gets her the exact attention she needs. 

Hot Hollywood Hell -- Out.