Hoarders - the school supply edition.

Every October, when I walk into Target and discover the Christmas decorations and supplies being set up next to the Halloween costumes (that have been there since late August), I get vocally perturbed at the overly ambitious marketers in America who once again, rush the holidays and trick us into feeling eternally behind, when it's not even time to get started.  Of course, the annoyance only lasts about a week before I fold and start pushing my cart down just one aisle (to see what's new this year)...and then the next day maybe down another aisle and then before I know it I start snapping up rolls of cute wrapping paper (that the 50+ rolls in my basememt (and Husband) are shouting at me that I DO NOT need) and piles of patterned tissue paper and gift tags that blink and red & green m&ms all before Halloween is over.

It's the same way I feel at the beginning of July when all the school supplies are put out (and my kids have been out of school for a whopping 2.5 weeks). I spend a week or two huffing around in disgust (and shielding Thing 2's eyes as we walk past the cheerful "Back-to-School!" signs). I remain in denial until August, choosing to live forever in my happy little world where it is always summer and I do not ever have to wake myself and 2 grumpy girls up before dawn and I do not have to make lunches (that I bet $2.50 a day do not get eaten) and I do not have to adhere to rehearsal schedules and homework help and bedtimes....and where unicorns feed me brownies and braid my hair.

But then, sometime in early August, the lure of the brand new boxes of crayons and the shiny and colorful and cartoon-y spiral notebooks and the giant pink erasers and the folders with adorable kittens on them break me (and do not even show me the brand new composition books that now come with adorable covers and are full of clean lined pages just begging me to buy them in bulk...and never write in them).

And then, in a display I am not proud of but that will repeat itself with the Christmas decor in about a month, I will start gradually swinging my cart by (just to take a look and see what's new), and then the next day I'll maybe push the cart down the folder aisle (just to grab a few good kitten ones for myself for Thing 2 before they all get picked over).  And then before I know it I have a cart full of $1 a box crayons and more markers than we'll ever use and extra pencils and notebooks and a purple bendy ruler (a bendy ruler!!) and index cards (which I have not used since 1992) and stacks of colorful post-it notes and a pencil bag with adorable owls on it (which I definitely need what with all the new pencils in the cart) and a pack of 24 assorted gel-pens &/or Sharpies.

Maybe it's because I was an elementary school teacher way back when, or maybe it's because when I was in school my folders were pretty much limited to this -

which we quickly made look like this -

We also didn't have flash drives on our 6th grade school supply lists.
I imagine if we did we'd have thought they were time machines that would shoot us into space.

Whatever the reason, cleaning out the old dried up markers and pens and broken crayons and stubby pencils and replacing them each September August with a shiny new batch makes me almost wish I got to go back to school.  But then I remember that I get to stay home and do laundry and take naps and clean the kitchen and scrub the toilets and take naps and get the groceries and vacuum the floors and take naps and organize the overflowing school supply cabinet....and then I (kind of) don't.  

What's really bumming me out this year, though (and making it very difficult to deflect the blame), is that now that Thing 2 will be in 6th grade she doesn't need all the fun stuff anymore and has to buy plain colored folders.  Excuse me while I have a mini-meltdown and mourn the loss of her giant box of crayons with built-in sharpener (and hey, middle school principals? You are never - never - too old for Hello Kitty).

But now that I have this blog, surely I will need those 4 adorable composition books I just bought (despite the fact that I stopped writing on paper in 2005) and the 3 Hello Kitty pocket folders and all those sharpies?

Of course I will.  And to make myself (and Husband) feel better, I've got two words for you.

Tax. Deduction.