Bachelorette 2. Or, I'd rather be vacuuming.

So I realized at 8:25 (in the middle of dinner - grilled chicken, homemade bruschetta, salad, corn on the cob for me and Husband, Nutellla and strawberry crepes for the Things) that I hadn't set The Bachelorette on a season pass and so we unfortunately missed Ryan the football player's one on one date.
And now after reading a few recaps I've learned that they made cookies for Little Ricki's soccer team.
ON THEIR FIRST DATE.
Even a real single mom wouldn't make a first date do that.  Run, Ryan. We know you can.

I'm actually sorry I missed it because after thoroughly enjoying the part where she made him watch the girls from the car like a creepy uncle, I'd have shut it down right then and saved my life 75 excruciating minutes.

We came in with the Muppets.

The. Muppets.

Let me go on record as saying I am NOT a Piggy fan. I have nothing against the Muppets as a group, find Kermit enjoyable though dull, and am quite a big fan of their cousins on Sesame Street, but even as a child felt they were too overexposed, borderline annoying and not at all funny (alright, so I guess I do have something against them).

So imagine my delight to find Emily and the boys having forced and awkward and scripted conversations with Kermit, Piggy and Fozzy.

Someone shoot me now.

And then she brought Little Ricki up on stage to "sing" with Kermit. Uh, is there something wrong with that child? No, seriously.

Now. Someone shoot me now.

Thing 1 even walked out and went up to bed.
I contemplated vacuuming.
At this point I stopped taking notes, of which I had written down 3 things.

1) Muppets. Oh God no.
2) Emily and Piggy have the same hairdo
3) Chris Harrison looks just like Statler (or is it Waldorf?) without the mustache.  And he's funnier.

So after the most painful Muppet Show ever, the gang gets to booze it up to try to forget the humiliation of the previous 3 hours (I'm quite certain the audience did the same....home viewers included), and Kalon, wearing an unfortunate......ah Hell. I can't do this.
I can't relive the dullness.
I'm actually boring myself.
And contemplating vacuuming. Again.

Sorry, kids. This is why I'm true to The Bachelor.  More snarkiness and shockiness (my blog - my words) and bitchiness and crying and no Muppets (yet) and crying and no baking cookies for god's sake. The Bachelorette just never does it for me.  And with my viewing standards, that's sayin' a lot.  A lot.

I can't even promise I'll watch it again.  Although next week the egg gets it.  That might be will totally be worth my time.

But I think I'll lead you kids over to the brilliant blogging recapper of all things Bachelor - Lincee over at ihategreenbeans.com, or check out Meghan's recap at buddytv.com.  Her caption under the photo of Ryan watching the soccer kids is hilarious.

And now I'm off to try to find something - anything - to do other than vacuum.