Crazy?…or AWESOME?*

I'm in the middle of writing a different post, but I just read a story that trumps it so it's gonna have to wait.

I've just found proof that I'm not crazy! And you aren't either!

Sue Johnson is!!

Who the hell is Sue Johnson, you ask?
She's the Mary with the Yorkie Jesus.

Or maybe she's just a shepherd.

Either way, she's crazy.

Or fabulously awesome.  I can't decide.

Apparently, for the past 20 years she's made her family pose for elaborate Christmas card photos, trying to best herself every year. And oh, yeah, she's my neighbor. Well, not literally, but she lives in a suburb of Minneapolis about half an hour from me. Explains a lot, actually (relax, MN natives, I'm kidding).

Here are a few of my favorites -

Upon closer inspection, I'm noticing that this one only has 3 children when the shepherd/lamb one has 4.  Do you suppose the sheep with the beard is a son-in-law?? 

*googling…googling*
Yep. It's Mike. Valerie's reluctant husband. And no, I'm not being mean.

“I knew exactly what I was getting into, unfortunately,” Mike said.
“That’s why it took nine years to get married,” his wife added.

Dude.

Apparently when this soldier photo was first taken, one of the daughters had her head tilted. Sue had a fit and marched them all back to the photographer (literally) and demanded a re-do (oh yeah, and the teenage boy's friends worked at the photo place. No therapy needed there, I'm sure). Man, I would not want to be on the receiving end of Sue's wrath, especially when she's dressed as a soldier.  Her husband even refers to her as, "She who must be obeyed" when talking about the Christmas card photo shoots Riigght...'cause I'm thinkin' the other 364 days she's real easy-going and laid back.

Seriously, imagine the instruction (spoken through the clenched teeth smile): Straighter!! Stand straighter, soldiers!! And if you so much as tilt your tall hat one freakin' inch to the side I will make you wear ridiculous Snowmen costumes next year.

Thanks a lot, Valerie.

Hey, look! Mike's back! And so thankful he didn't have to be a barnyard animal this year that he decided to stick around.  And electrocute his in-laws. Or the one WHO FREAKIN' CLOSED HER EYES thus sealing their fate as tiny gingerbread men the following year (goddammit, Valerie!!).

I've gotta hand it to Sue for the creativity on this one.  Not to mention the amount of time it must have taken to figure out how in the hell to make a 20' cookie sheet.

Apparently, she spends all year thinking up new, clever (bat-shit crazy) ideas and says that they sometimes 'come to her in dreams'. I'm thinking Sue needs to cut back on the eggnog before bed. 

She makes all the costumes by hand but "only spends about 2 months" actually making them (oh, then. STILL CRAZY) and says her family really enjoys the 'bonding experience'.

Show of hands...How many of your kids enjoy getting their Christmas card photo taken in regular clothes, in regular locations, in regular poses? 

Yeah, mine too.

A year or so ago they rented a sleigh and Sue and Rob were Santa and Mrs. Claus and the kids were the reindeer.  I bet Mike had to be that worthless Donner. He's totally the Rob Kardashian of the reindeer.

Meet Andy. He's the other dude IN THE REINDEER SUIT.
Those Johnson girls must reaaally be somethin'

I kind of love her.

I'm completely scared of her, but I kind of love her.

Now go stuff your ordinary and inadequate family card into your envelopes and have a gingerbread cookie.

Just don't eat the Sue one. 

I bet it bites back.

*This has been the first of a new ongoing YMFT series called "Crazy?…or AWESOME?"