Amazon shoppers of the world....COME TO ME.

I'm a shopper. But I kind of hate to shop.
Malls annoy the hell out of me, yet driving around from store to store to store exhausts me, and for about four solid months here in Minnesota contributes to my loss of nipple sensation and my near certifiable winter rage.  It's why 90% of what I eat, wear, use, watch, read and decorate with comes from Target, which is one mile from my house.
Unless, unless, it comes from the magical screen on my desk.
Shopping I do love, but doing it on the internet is my favorite (shut up, Husband. That's gross).
I shop online a lot. Oh, not for myself (that often...Husband is still reading this you know), and mostly at Christmastime or birthdays...or when the snow starts to melt and I celebrate by ordering five new pairs of flip flops. I'm not a fan of crowded malls nor do I care to spend hours in my car driving around town only to discover the Best Buy that said they had the purple Skull-Candy earbuds in fact does not and the only place they're in stock is at the freakin' Mall of America which is 30 minutes away but now because it's after 3:00 will take over an hour. Each way (but I wouldn't know anything about that).
But being able to shop in my pj's with a cup of coffee and a warm and furry friend on my lap while listening to some classic WHAM! is right up my alley (don't judge).
I spent a fair amount of time on Gap.com, Fab.com and (my new favorite) ModCloth.com, but by far my two favorite virtual shopping destinations are Zappos and Amazon.

I will sing the Zappos praises to anyone who'll listen, and even those who do not, because of two things. No, make that three things. Four things.

1. Crazy fast shipping (almost always next day even though you pay for five day).
2. FREE returns.
3. Unbelievable flip flop selection.
4. They sell swimsuits. A lot of swimsuits.

You know what that means? You can try on swimsuits in your own bedroom (where you may or may not be playing Beach Boys tunes and drinking a Pina Colada) while testing all sorts of bathing suit type positions (the sit-on-the-side-of-the-pool, the recline-in-pool-chaise-reading-magazine, the lay-flat-on-pool-chaise-after-eating-poolside-chips&salsa-and-drinking-margarita, the walk-to-poolside-bar-to-get-another-round, etc.) so you can see how many rolls your belly makes and which one makes your boobs look the best....and then send the rejects back for free. Same with shoes, but I don't drink Pina Coladas when I'm trying those on. Shoes call for vodka. Duh.

And Amazon.com.  The wide world of shopping.  Where you can pretty much buy everything you never dreamed of. Like Special K Protein snack bars. I'm not kidding. Target stopped selling them months ago and I panicked. It's what I'd eaten to curb the 4:00 munchies just about every day. And since I've already told you I do pretty much all of my shopping at Target and live by the motto "what they don't have, we don't need" I took to the interwebs immediately.  And who'd have guessed, but Amazon.com sells those little bars of chocolaty/peanut goodness in 3-packs! I was giddy.

I'm not sure there's much that you can't find on Amazon. Including my book.
*self-promotion alert*self-promotion alert*self-promotion alert*
In the not too distant future you'll be able to buy my book through Amazon.com (and by "my" book, I mean the book I happen to have authored an essay in along with about 35 other kick-ass bloggers).
And to make it easy for you to buy my book, and really anything else in the world your heart desires, I've added that handy Amazon.com box over there on the right. Take a minute to locate it. I'll wait.

Good. Now that you've found it, USE IT.
And I don't just mean when it's time to buy my book.  I mean anytime you want to go shop around on Amazon.com.  If you enter Amazon.com through that magical box-link (from now until forever) and buy anything (but of course, you'll be buying my book) You're my favorite today will get a tiny kick-back from your order. And by "You're my favorite today" I of course mean me. I figure since this little blog takes up as much of my time as a regular job would and because the regular job I've had for the past 17 years hasn't produced a paycheck of any sort, it's time to start earning my keep around here.

Will I spend all of my newfound fortunes (which I estimate to be around $20 per year) at Zappos? Probably. But only if the flip flops at Target are ugly.

Click this flashing box every time you like what you read. It won't buy my flip flops, but it will still make me happy!