You're my favorite today.: The envelope please...

I spend a lot of time on this little blog talking about my favorites, but something that I haven't had the pleasure to write about in the past six and a half months (because it's been the dry season) is something that comes pretty close to topping the list.

Award Shows.

I love Award Shows. I'd say I love all types of Award Shows, but if I'm being honest I'd be lying (that made much more sense in my head). I'm pretty particular about which shows I'll watch. I'm definitely partial to Award Shows that honor the visual medium, e.g. The Television and Motion Pictures of Arts & Sciences and The Hollywood Foreign Press (and I like using phrases like 'visual medium' and 'Motion Picture of Arts & Sciences' because they make me feel legit and like I'm part of the group). I'll watch any Country Music award show (Carrie Underwood - duh.), the Grammy's (even though I usually don't know who 80% of the nominees are), but I usually steer clear of any of the video awards shows. I'm just not that hip. And my viewing isn't limited to my own demographic either. I love the Teen Choice Awards and the Kids' Choice Awards as much as the Things. Who doesn't enjoy watching the Biebs get good and slimed?

Maybe it's because my secret dream and aspiration was always to work in television. I've always been fascinated with the behind-the-scenes stuff; not necessarily what the actors are doing, but what the hundreds of people are doing to make a show happen. I think I'd like to have been a producer or a writer or a set decorator. Then I could still go to all the award shows in a killer dress without the pressure to cleanse and tan and diet and detox (totally lying. I would). Only downside is that if I won I'd be one of the unimportant and uninteresting winners who people like me fast-forward through when they're watching.

It's true that some Award Shows are much more entertaining than others, and I definitely have a preference.

1. The Golden Globes - all the stars of both television and movies together in one room? Magic. Add the bottomless champagne and wine glasses and you've got yourself certain entertainment. My favorite part? When they go to commercial and you get to see them all schmoozing with eachother. I'd give up one of the Things to be in that room (kidding. Unless I could sit at the same table as Clooney).

2. The Primetime Emmys - since we're big TV watchers (remember?), the Emmys are exciting. The fact that I usually disagree with the choice of nominees (Jim Parsons? Ugh) and don't watch many of the nominated shows doesn't keep me from hunkering down in front of the TV with appetizers and wine. I really only watch to see what the ladies are wearing and to imagine myself sitting next to them anyway.

3. The Academy Awards - you might be surprised this isn't at the top of the list, but the Oscars, while uber glamorous, don't thrill me. The amount of awards that are given for categories that I frankly don't give a damn about (Gone With the Wind - recipient of 10 Academy Awards) coupled with the speeches that have the tendency to drone on and on and the winners who I cannot understand &/or aren't actual movie stars and therefore dressed in ugly dresses gets b-o-r-i-n-g. But I watch. Of course I do.

4. The SAG Awards - I actually like the beginning of this show better than the rest of it. The camera zooms in on random (very random) actors sitting at their tables in the audience and they give a 2 or 3 sentence speech on how they got started in the biz, and always end with "I'm _______, and I am an Actor." Don't know why, but that always gives me chills. Another relaxed show where they all share tables, food, and bottles and bottles of wine and champagne and Xanax.

5. The People's Choice Awards - pretty lame show, considering it's obvious the nominees know in advance who the winner is, based on the fact that only the winner is in the audience. So you can wipe that surprised look off your face, Rob Pattinson. We're on to you.

Last night the acting awards season officially kicked off with the Primetime Emmy Awards. You know I was watching...and judging.

Best Overall look (dress/hair/makeup/accessories):

Sarah Hyland

Beautiful. Like a goddess. A teeny tiny goddess.

Emily VanCamp

I loved this dress. Hair - meh.

This bracelet MADE the outfit. Adore. Purse? Looks like a flask. Maybe it is.

Giuliana Rancic

Classic. Gorge.
A bit like a Barbie, but it works.

Loved the pony. So retro.
Would somebody please give her a cheeseburger, though?

There were waay more fashion disasters, though. In fact, in my opinion the misses outnumbered the hits by like 2:1.

Juliana Marguilies

What. The. Hell.

Ariel Winter

Here's my problem with Ariel (besides the hideous dress) -

She's 14.

Works the camera like she's 21 (at least that's how old all the old men watching are telling themselves she is).

Check out her shoes.

She's 14.

Amanda Bynes? You have an understudy.

Heidi Klum

So yesterday.

Lena Dunham

I think she's brilliant for 26 and love her show (and her new haircut), but it looks suspiciously

like Maria Von Trapp was her designer.

Curtains. Get it?

What the heck was with the neon yellow? Didn't like. Some of the dresses were lovely, but unless you are jogging at night or wanting to attract butterflies, stick to butter. And can you just imagine how pissed they all were to get there and discover their color choice wasn't original? Makes the girls in the black dresses serious rebels.

1. Julianne Moore - AWFUL. Looks heavy and hot and and so, so boring.
2. Kaley Cukoo or Coco or whatever - Gorgeous dress....and of all of them, the only one that works in that color. Too bad everyone else and their dog showed up in it. AWKward.
3. Claire Danes - a win well-deserved. Too bad you wore a swimsuit cover-up/maxi-dress. So, so unflattering. Show us that baby bump!
4. Chick from 'New Girl' - um..you have a rockin' body that this dress does nothing for. Except attract hummingbirds.

Don't know how they missed Julie Bowen in the neon collage, but here she is in her spray tanned glory -

Now, to be completely honest, the dress is GORGEous (although would have been so much better in purple), the hair was tousled perfection, but her overuse of the phrase "nipple covers" in her acceptance speech was bizarre and puzzling.

You'd think after hearing crickets in the theatre the first time she used it she'd have gone a different direction..but nope. Must have really felt "nipple covers" was gonna be a hit and she was committed to make it work. It didn't.

And BTW - what the hell are nipple covers??