Let's eat Grandpa.

So I found this ecard on (where else) Pinterest last week, and it reminded me, yet again, about how idiotic grammar (and spelling) mistakes are one of my life's biggest pet peeves.

Now, I don't profess to be anywhere near perfect when it comes to grammar, spelling, sentence construction and punctuation (Husband would like to go on record by calling me a liar), and I use and misuse my fair share of parenthesis and hyphens no question. But people - c'mon - did you or did you not graduate high school?  And to some of you (and by "you" please know that I do not necessarily mean YOU) - how??

You know who I'm talking about, though, don't you?

The ones who do things like this on facebook &/or twitter (and I'm totally not making these up - my sister and I have been keeping a list for years now).

inbarrising = embarrassing

Oh! God it! = Oh! Got it!

redue = redo

terafied = terrified

wait a go = way to go

bored = board

guest = guessed

greatful = grateful

and the always -always - aggravating misuse of these gems:

defanately = definitely

your vs. you're 

there vs. their vs. they're

to vs. too 

its vs. it's

and the possessive apostrophe - learn it.

Now, I realize most of you reading this are bloggers...writers...well-educated people and I'm preaching to the choir.  But these mistakes are infuriating, am I right?   Maybe it's because I used to teach 4th graders these exact same rules of thumb or because I paid attention during Language Arts in elementary school, but whatever the reason, it drives me crazy.

So in case you - or someone you know - needs it, here's a few rules.  You're welcome.

to vs. too

Use double 'oo's when you mean "always" or "a lot".

"I want an Appletini, too!"

"That glass of wine you just poured me is too full." (said no one ever)

your vs. you're

Use an apostrophe when you mean "you are".

"You're not really going to marry him, are you?"

there vs. their vs. they're

• direction - "Look over there! It's a bunch of naked motorcyclists!"

• a group, possesive - "Their house smells like old fish and dead rodents."

• when you could substitute "they are" - "They're going to get me arrested one day, I just know it."

its, it's

• if you can replace it with "it is" or "it has",  use the apostrophe - "It's amazing how little I care about what you're saying."

• if using the possessive (look it up), don't - "The poor little mouse bit its own tail off to get out of the trap."

And maybe my biggest pet peeve of all, when addressing your Christmas cards, please please please  do not put an apostrophe 's' after your last name unless it ends in an 's'. 

example:

If your last name is 'Tucker', your family is not "The Tucker's"!!!  You are plural - "The Tuckers". 

And I'll leave you with a sign I had up in my classroom way back when - 

a lot is two - TWO - words.

Who else does this bother?? 'Fess up - I know you're out there!