Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I can die now.

Like most people, I count my High School and college graduations, my wedding day and the births of my children as my life's major moments.

Until today.

With apologies to Saguaro High School, ASU, NAU, Husband and the Things, something happened earlier today that trumped them all.

Scott Baio re-tweeted me.

Wait....what??

SCOTT BAIO RE-TWEETED ME.

I can die now.

I couldn't write this earlier because it's literally taken all day for the oxygen to return to my fingertips.

To understand - just a little - the mind-blowingness of this and the hysteria that ensued (and is still 'ensuing' now...10 hours later), I should give you a brief history of my childhood obsession/infatuation/mania with Scott Baio (synonyms, I'm aware, but you need to combine all 3 to get to the level I was at from about 1979-1983).

Yes, I did just spend 15 min. google-imaging these photos and creating this collage.
And nope, I'm not at all embarrassed about it.
Other than my inappropriate older-man crush on Donny Osmond (it's no secret I had/have Daddy issues. Whatever.), Chachi Arcola was IT for me.  I died (along with the studio audience) every time he made his entrance on Happy Days.  And I believe I've told you before that a fun fact about me that I'm quite proud of is that I can still sing the theme song to "Joanie Loves Chachi" by heart. I obviously do not have a lot of depth.

I'm not at all embarrassed to admit that I was one of probably 200 people who not only bought his album (shut up) but knew the lyrics to every song and defended his vocal ability to all the critics.  My best friend and I spent hours lying on my bedroom floor passing this album cover back and forth absolutely swooning listening him sing (to us, of course) to tell him...
"guurrrlll...what was in that kiss, that made me feel like this?".

When I was about 10 my family took a trip to Magic Mountain in CA and upon arrival discovered that Scott Baio would be performing LIVE there that day.  
I cried. 
One, because I was so overwhelmed with emotion and love and adoration and the thought of seeing him in person just crushed me to tears....
and two, because I had worn my hair in dog-ears that day.

So maybe, then, you can understand how it felt to open up my email this morning and see this -

And seriously....DirecTV did just take Nickelodeon away and I WILL be making a call.

Ask my kids if I went a little berserk.
If I maybe ran around like I'd just chopped off my fingertip with a butcher knife.
If I paused mid-run to do a strange happy jig and shout, "HE KNOWS I'M ALIVE! HE KNOWS I'M ALIVE!"
If I had to sit for a moment with my head between my knees taking deep breaths IN through my nose...OUT through my mouth.
If I fumbled with my phone/ipad/computer trying desperately to pull up his actual page to see if, in fact, he had re-tweeted me (which I couldn't do and Thing 1 had to do for me because my hands were shaking....and because I do not know how Twitter actually works).

Proof. He knows I'm alive!
Oh, and believe me - this photo will be ironed on a nightshirt and pillow case ASAP.
And maybe a mouse-pad.  And a coffee mug...

And what is funny is that over the past few months I've had an idea brewin' for a blog post on how different it is for tweens and teens today to stalk stay up-to-date on the daily minute-by-minute happenings of their celebrity crushes.  

Thing 1 can tell us (and believe me...she does) 20x a day what the boys of One Direction are doing...what they are eating...who they are kissing...what they are allergic to and show us photos of them doing it all.  Constantly
Not sayin' I can't/don't do the same with celebrities via Twitter.  It's just so different from when we were kids and only had access to seeing them or hearing them if they were on television or if we saw their photos in Tiger Beat. They lived their exiting lives only in our imaginations (and the fact that to help me get to sleep I would sometimes play a little game I liked to call, "What is Scott Baio doing right now?" might add to the momentousness of this story and will hopefully not make you laugh at me too hard. But I stopped doing that in like 1995 1984).

Was it better then?  Not sure.  More romantic? Absolutely.  Nevertheless, I'd have given anything in 1982 to know what Scott Baio ate for dinner or that he had the flu last week or have been able to see current photos of him every day.  And it would have absolutely blown my little mind to know that one day I'd be able to know when he played golf, what he was cooking for breakfast, and seen photos of him out with his family - all on my phone.  

And I'd love - LOVE - to go back in time and tell my 12 year old self that one day he'd read something I wrote and he'd like what I said enough that he'd send it along to 50,000 of his friends (but I don't have to wonder what I'd have done.  Flatlined is what I'd have done).  

I just wish he didn't have to see my Twitter photo wearing those stupid New Year's Eve glasses.
Might as well as have had dog-ears.

It'll take me a long time to come down from this one.
Thankfully Husband and the Things are used to my 'crazy' and are very well-aware of the Baio-lovin' girl who still lives in me...and who just had one of her biggest tweeny-boppin' fantasies come true.  

*sigh*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UPDATE!! Friday, October 5.....
Geesh, Scott, just friend me already.


18 comments:

  1. Michelle,

    You are just so damn funny!!! I love your blog posts and this one had me almost peeing my pants for so many different reasons: 1) the Scott Baio phenomenon of the 70's/80's, 2) the twitter re-tweet (I have no idea how twitter works either) and 3) the current teen culture. As you know, we stayed in the same hotel as One Direction in LA the night after the Kids Choice awards. Sarah was able to figure out exactly what they were doing, where they were going next etc. I had no idea and had no idea how I would figure it out if I were at gun point!! Keep writing ... I want to keep laughing with you! Peggy P.S. I clicked Anonymous because I have no idea what the hell the rest of the options mean!! Crap. Another thing I need to learn....

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  2. Oh oh oh! I know somebody that is >< this close to knowing Scot Baio! Well I am >< this close to knowing that somebody...okay, I follow somebody(this would be you)! What a wonderful wonderful day you had! Maybe I should follow Mickey Dolenz on twitter and see if he knows I am alive??

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  3. OH MY GOD.

    I would die.

    This post is hilarious!!! LOVE IT!!!!!

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  4. you get funnier and funnier by the post! holy crap i loooooove you!

    like 10 years ago, a local valley radio station had scott baio on and i called in and got to talk to him! charles in charge was my shiiiiit and i had to tell him. sooo awesome that he retweeted you! love it!

    also - OMGG you went to saguaro!? my ex boyfriend in high school went there.. (i went to a private, catholic school... not xavier, a newer co-ed high school in waaaaay north scottsdale). such a small world! they totally redid it a few years back.. it looks really good now!

    you made my night with this post!
    ps- i think you and hubs should come back to tempe this football season for a game ;) xoxoxo

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  5. Best post of the day! You totally need to tweet this blog post so he can read it!!

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  6. OMG!!!! That is awesome!! I would die!!!
    ♥ Kyna

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  7. omg tigerbeat. LOL congrats on the re-tweet :)

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  8. ERMAHGERD, SCORT BAIORRR?!?! You is famous...

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  9. Thanks for the laughs, sharing this now!

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  10. "Scott Baio once retweeted me" needs to be your Twitter bio. Also, are those Swedish Fish on your Twitter homepage? I just tried to eat my screen.

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  11. He was my older man crush when he was in Charles in Charge. I used to get cramps in my eyeballs from rolling them when my dad would call him Chachi. Get with the times, DAD! I can't believe he retweeted you. That makes me want to get twitter, just for the possibility that my celebrity crushes might retweet my posts.

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  12. I only loved Scott Baio in Charles in Charge. I have no idea what I thought that show was the THE BEST. And I sincerely disliked him a few years ago when there was some reality show about him. He was such a whiner. Oh poor me, I was a child actor and can't get my life straight.

    But your post about his retweet is hysterical. If JOey McIntyre from NKOTB were to do that for me, I would do exactly what you did.

    And I have never met another soul who called pig tails dog ears. We called them doggie ears but dog ears is the closest I've ever heard! My mother never called them pigtails. And I always got smacked with the brush for squirming when she ripped my hair to part it. Oh was that just me? Not part of the whole doggie ears thing?

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  13. Oh girl, I so get this. I was all about Scott Baio back in the day. Did you see him on Anderson Live this week? I just posted that same photo (with the yellow shirt) on my Facebook page this week. haha Memories of Tiger Beat and Chachi. Hilarious!

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  14. AHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU know that I KNOW exactly what you are experiencing!!!!!!!!!!! (I wish I could use hearts for my exclamation points instead of dots.) Fantastic!

    And I remember that album! But is it just me or did every heart throb pose like that (Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garret, Michael Jackson, Andy Gibb, etc.), amiright? Never realized that before. Ellen

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  15. Wow! I don't know what I would do if I were retweeted by one of my childhood crushes. Definitely freak out but, ooooooh, to ponder the specifics!

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I love your comments. They let me know I'm talking to someone besides my cats during the day. Check back ~ I'll reply if I'm not too busy napping.